The Governor Says We Can Bowl Now
Finally! I can once again don my 85 cent multi-colored bowling shoes and hit the alleys as Governor Whitmer has declared bowling legal. Time for warm pitchers of beer, turkey's and worn out Lebowski phrases and guess what? My 16 pound balls couldn't be happier!
Bowling alleys, movie theaters, ice rinks and more that have been shuttered since March, will finally be allowed to operate beginning Oct 9th. Mind you it'll be a different bowling experience then what we're accustomed to but my "Balls To The Walls" bowling team is going to be ready. Before you ask, I really don't care to reveal the awful record of my poor performing bowling team but you would think being named after a German heavy metal band (Accept) we would be ball busting good.
A few tips for the next time you hit the alleys:
Always ask for a size or two larger shoe then what you normally wear. Not because you want a comfortable fit but you know as guys we're kind of insecure about our...ahem...shoe size.
As you have often wondered, there is a whole different world behind those pin-setting machines. Unicorns, bigfoot and men who actually ask for directions are real back there.
Absolutely no Big Lebowski phrases.
Don't skip your turn when its time to buy a round. Trust me, we'll notice.
Keep your goofy ass body language in check. Minimalize the "moves so you're not distracting other bowlers or going viral with ridiculous body contortions.
Stay safe, keep your distance, have fun and we'll see you out there on the lanes.
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