Little Mix’s Jesy Nelson Recalls Wanting to Take Her Own Life After Being Bullied Online
In her upcoming documentary BBC Three Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out, the singer spoke out about the relentless barrage of online abuse that started as soon as she appeared on X Factor. She also opened up about how social media negatively impacted her mental health and eventually led her to try and take her own life in 2013.
“I was sat in bed crying, thinking, ‘this is never going to go, I’m going to feel sad for the rest of my life, so what is the point in being here?’” she explains in the trailer, according to BBC.
“The only way I can describe the pain is like constantly being heartbroken," the 28-year-old continued. "I remember going to the kitchen and I just took as many tablets as I could. Then my ex, who was with me at the time, he woke up and was like, ‘why are you crying?’ I kept saying, ‘I just want to die.’”
Watch a trailer for Jesy Nelson's upcoming documentary, below:
In an interview with The Guardian, she admitted that she quickly became "obsessed" with reading the negative comments in which trolls would describe her as "fat," "ugly" and "deformed."
"I was very naive," she said. "I thought it would be people giving their opinion on our performance. But nearly every comment was about the way I looked: 'She's a fat ugly rat'; ‘How has she got in this girl group?'"
"I had a routine of waking up, going on Twitter, searching for the worst things I could about myself. I'd type in the search bar: 'Jesy fat', or ‘Jesy ugly', and see what would come up," Nelson told the outlet. "Sometimes I didn't even need to do that, I'd just write 'Jesy' and then I'd see all the horrible things."
"Everyone told me to ignore it, but it was like an addiction," she added.
Nelson said she reached a point where she "physically couldn’t tolerate the pain anymore."
Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out debuts on BBC Three on September 12.