Dad Storms Out of Sister’s Wedding After She Deadnames His Transgender Son
On Reddit, a protective father shared how he called his sister out for disrespecting his son, which resulted in him promptly storming out of her wedding.
The single father-of-three took to Reddit explaining his son, Connor, 15, came out as transgender five years ago. The man and his sons were invited to his sister's wedding, who was "pretty indifferent" to Connor's transition.
"Her wedding was super well organized to the last detail. She wanted all the men to wear shirts and ties and the women, sundresses," he wrote via Reddit.
"I texted her a picture of our outfits the day before the wedding, and she said, 'Where's Nia's dress?' I was a bit surprised and told her not to deadname my son and that he'll be wearing a shirt and tie like the rest of [the] men there or we aren't coming. She said 'fine' and that was it."
The dad detailed that his sister "got mad" when Connor wore a tie at the reception, but didn't say much after that. However, when they got to their table, the dad realized his sister had went ahead and deadnamed the teen on his place card.
"When we sat down at our table, the card said 'Nia.' I went to my sister and she said she used 'their real name,'" he wrote. "I told her me and the boys are leaving and she told me 'don't you dare cause a scene at my wedding, Nia can be a guy any other day.'"
The frustrated dad called his sister a "bigot" before he and his sons stormed out of the wedding.
He added that his family claims he "ruined her wedding," but he stands by his son.
Users in the comments rallied behind the dad, applauding him for standing up for his son and putting his sister in her place.
"He can be a man any other day? What a ridiculous thing to say. Well, sister theoretically could be an AH (a--hole) any other day too yet here we are. Good on you for standing up to her in support of your son," one person wrote.
"Connor is a man every day. Went to bed yesterday a man, woke up today a man. No one is calling into question whether or not Connor is a man except for the sister and the only one making a scene of it is the sister. All she needs to do today, as she should be every day, is showing Connor a modicum of respect and not deadnaming him," another user wrote.
According to Dr. Lambrese of the Cleveland Clinic, deadnaming occurs when you refer to someone "by a name that they didn’t ask you to use."
"A transgender person may decide to no longer use their birth or legal name. Instead, they’ll choose a name that better aligns with their identity," he explains, according to the Cleveland Clinic. "When someone uses their old name after being asked not to, that is what we call 'deadnaming.' The person who they once were is dead, but the new person is alive, so their current name should be used."