Go home internet, you're drunk.

Get our free mobile app

Stop putting mustard on all the things cause that's not a thing.

This past summer folks were all were duped into believing that mustard and watermelon was a thing.

Somewhere and somehow, someone is trying to reinvent that particular brand of "magic" and get us all to believe two things:

  1. Mustard on pumpkin pie is a thing.
  2. It came from Ohio.

I have two things to counter that with:

  1. Both of those are lies.
  2. This is trash and someone is trolling us all "super hard".
  3. Ohio is trash whether this came from them or not.

Ok, it was three things. Sue me.

It all started with a picture and a "seemingly" true association.

Behold, this is how this thing started. Allegedly.

It started with what we call things. Sneakers vs. tennis shoes. Water vs drinking fountains. Sub vs. hoagie. That kind of thing. It was fun but I think we're starting to run out of regional things to fight about because I'm pretty sure this has to be a joke.

Read More: Are People In Ohio Really Putting Mustard On Their Pumpkin Pie?

Ridiculous picture, crazy association with a state that is almost believable, spread vigorously on the internet, watch and see what happens.

Show us where on the map Ohio did this.

Because you can't. When you use the interweb for good and research the insanely stupid, you come up with some nuggets of truth if you dig deep enough. Searching the depts of Ohio and mustard on pumpkin pie, we found this:

Do I believe that this is an appropriate topping for any dessert, let alone pumpkin pie? No.

Do I believe this ridiculous "ritual" came from Ohio? The explanation of putting mustard on things to stop you from eating it? That seems just the proper amount of Ohio stupid.

But even I don't believe they use the condiment on pie because it "tastes good".

Next, you'll be telling me you put ketchup on bananas.

Wait, what? And they put it on what? Spaghetti? Ok, I'm done.

LOOK: 15 Discontinued McDonald's Menu Items

 

50 Most Popular Chain Restaurants in America

YouGov investigated the most popular dining brands in the country, and Stacker compiled the list to give readers context on the findings. Read on to look through America's vast and divergent variety of restaurants—maybe you'll even find a favorite or two.