The Hunger Harness? This Can't Be Real Can It?

Credit: Reynolds Kitchens

The modern day feed bag for humans has arrived. Ladies and gentlemen may we present to you The Reynolds Wrap™ Hunger Harness™. And it's real. It's very real. And currently, very sold out.

The folks at Reynolds Kitchen have come up with the ULTIMATE GAME DAY WEARABLE. Their words not ours. And it's got features galore:

Main thermal pouch to help keep sandwiches melty, wings piping, and you stationary
Integrated food tray that turns you into a human table - life goal accomplished
Thermal drink holder for hands-free storage of your current beverage
Insulated dip holder to keep the most important game day snack warm and fresh (because room temperature buffalo chicken dip is a sin)
Adjustable silver straps that make this the new, food-forward look for the winter season

(Credit: Reynolds Kitchens)

We would tell you to order one and have it overnighted so you could have it in time for the big game but as luck would have it, IT'S COMPLETELY SOLD OUT! It was only $4.99 so imagine that.

Real talk, I thought this was a joke and a fake ad like from The Onion. But it's real.

And honestly, they had me at, "integrated food tray that turns you into a human table".

Hello 2019. You're everything I had hoped for and more.