An Oregon teacher was arrested on two felony counts of Criminal Mistreatment I after he -- wait for it -- gave students the opportunity to learn in a fun, hands-on, voluntary activity in the classroom, KGW-TV reports.

What exactly happened?

According to students befuddled by their teacher's arrest -- students that were in the classroom at the time of the "incident" -- not a single volunteer claimed to be or acted as if they were hurt when the teacher allowed the words "I <3 Mom" or other marks to be burned into their skin with a Tesla coil.

Burned isn't exactly a fair word to use, considering willing participants say the activity involving electricity felt more like a tickle than pain, and the "tattoo," as some have called it, disappeared within a day or two.

The teacher -- I'm guessing a student favorite -- is reportedly a 37 year old veteran of the district, and despite the fact that the charges against him which were spawned by one parent's complaint were "no-actioned," he remains on leave from the district while an internal investigation is completed.

So, now I'd like to address that one parent that decided to complain about their child WHO VOLUNTEERED to be part of a very cool learning experience in the classroom and under the tutelage of a respected instructor: Go away.  You suck.  You're the problem with America's schools.  You're the problem with America.  

Oh and PS - You probably like Common Core, don't you.

In one breath a parent complains about crappy schools and poor test grades and in the next breath riots against the best damn teacher in the building.  It's sickening how pathetic we've allowed our society to become; how pansy and lily-livered we are.  We're literally afraid of EVERYTHING.  And for no good reason.

I can't come up with a better explanation than the internet.  We're so exposed to any bad thing that happens, which is in no greater frequency than it was 30 years ago, that we literally fear everything.

My three year old had surgery and was placed under anesthesia on Tuesday.  If when her seven year old sister was three this would have occurred, I would have felt like I've felt about anesthesia my whole life.  "Eh."  But I was anxious over this very, very common procedure.  Why?  Because once -- maybe twice -- in the past few years I saw a story about a kid who went under anesthesia and never woke up, and now I have a strange anxiety about anesthesia that I've never had before.  I've "gone under" and my family members have gone under on numerous occasions.  I know how it goes.  So why this anxiety?  The internet.

And by the way, that one or two stories that I saw online were quite possibly about incidents that occurred a long, long time ago.  Who even knows?  Definitely not the internet.  Internet information is so riddled with holes.  In fact, I've begun to refer to it as the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

That's a Bible reference, kids.

The internet is about 25% good and 75% bad in my estimation.  There's very little that you couldn't accomplish without the internet.  It just isn't as convenient.  But, there's a lot of really heavy stuff that is internet-delivered that most people probably would never encounter otherwise.

Sorry this re-damn-diculous story about one parent ruining a fun learning activity for dozens of students and destroying this teacher's reputation and possibly ending his employment turned into a rant on the internet and our society -- it's been building up for a while.